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Post by itsadogslife on Jul 9, 2011 10:53:30 GMT -6
Ladies and Gents, itsadogslife (c'est moi ;D) would like your honest opinions on this topic.
What, do you personally feel was good, special about Gary Cooper. And what I'm even more interested in (seeing how so many fans claim that their star couldn't possibly do anything wrong or have any faults and we know that's wrong since they're just as human as we are) is to find out what you didn't like so much about Gary, what do you think he should have done different. What do you think you could have lived with, what, to you, was unforgivable?
Let's hope that will get many responses out of both female and male fans since I usually only hear the good side, never the bad side.
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Post by Coopsgirl on Jul 9, 2011 17:10:40 GMT -6
I think one of the things I like best about Gary is that he did not let stardom goes to his head and he seems to have stayed a pretty normal and down to earth person. He treated his coworkers with respect from the other top A list stars all the way down the most novice crew member.
The thing I was most disappointed to learn is that he was a serial cheater. It just does not seem like that would be part of his personality knowing what a genuinely decent and caring person that he was. I'm glad though that he finally saw the error of his ways and became a faithful husband.
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Post by itsadogslife on Jul 11, 2011 4:25:31 GMT -6
I think one of the things I like best about Gary is that he did not let stardom goes to his head and he seems to have stayed a pretty normal and down to earth person. He treated his coworkers with respect from the other top A list stars all the way down the most novice crew member. I second that. He seemed very sensitive at times and I like sensitive and shy guys much more than show-offs. What I didn't like about Gary was the cheating part, of course. I agree. When there's a problem in a relationship you should talk about it and work it out. Apparently, this did not work for Gary and his wife either, since he cheated on her again. Then again, many men and women in those days and even these days cheat all the time so it's not like this is something new. Personally, if would not have stayed married to a man like that, no matter how handsome he was but in those days and even in these days many men and women stay married just because of prestige in society. I bet you there are many troubled relationships/marriages. These days many people just get married for monetary gain and there are no feelings involved whatsoever. This is just my personal opinion so don't shoot me. I could never be in a relationship with a man who beats me, another thing I did not like about Gary and apparently this was true. Jealousy is one thing and sometimes emotions get out of hand but if you can't control yourself then maybe you should rethink your relationship. On the other hand, people with low self esteem are poor people. Whatever the reason for the abortion (fact that he was married and didn't want to hurt his reputation I bet was reason #1) and I'm not one of those religious fanatics to drag this one and spit him out after I'm done with Gary. I'm critical yes, but everyone (woman) has to make her own decision as to what she feels she should do with her body. I would not let a man tell me what to do. Then again, I would have told Gary. If you want to sleep with me, you'd better use precautions or live with the consequences. I would not let go of new life as long unless I have a very good reason to do so...such as serious illness, after all an abortion can have so many consequences for a woman, too. That said, we know how many men in those days asked women to abort and they did it.... Dumb, sorry. I don't think I can say too much about a person I did not know personally and only have heard things about in the newspapers (especially if some of the news may not even be right). I think the only person who can have a real opinion about a man like Gary Cooper are friends, relations, family and people who used to know him. I just felt I had to bring this up since more often than not I see fans going on about how their star could never do anything wrong...this annoys me so much since actor or not, they're just as much of a human with faults as any other "normal" person.
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Post by Coopsgirl on Jul 11, 2011 10:19:06 GMT -6
I don't think Gary cheated necessarily because he and Rocky were having problems; I think he just liked being able to have sex with multiple beautiful women. He doesn't seem to have liked routines (that was a quote from him in an article) and I think the different women were a change but nothing more than that (at least until he met Pat). I don't think Rocky stayed with for prestige either b/c she was a part of New York high society and didn't need money or prestige from Gary as she had plenty of both before she met him. That can definitely be the case with some women who marry rich, important men but I think in her case she stayed b/c she genuinely loved him and realized that straying was just part of his personality that she had to accept if she wanted to be with him. I don't think I could have but I'm not her. About him being abusive, I've got to disagree with you on that one. In a fit of anger he slapped Patricia Neal one time. That was certainly not the right thing to do and he apologized profusely and never did it again. I certainly wouldn't label him as abusive or a beater just because of that. I do agree with you about the abortion though; it was wrong and they both regretted it, especially Pat. Gary was definitely no perfect angel but on the whole he is someone I would have been proud to have as a friend and I think he had far more good qualities than bad.
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Post by itsadogslife on Jul 11, 2011 10:41:19 GMT -6
About him being abusive, I've got to disagree with you on that one. In a fit of anger he slapped Patricia Neal one time. That was certainly not the right thing to do and he apologized profusely and never did it again. I certainly wouldn't label him as abusive or a beater just because of that. I do agree with you about the abortion though; it was wrong and they both regretted it, especially Pat. Correct me, if I'm wrong but didn't he slap Patricia Neal because she kissed a friend who happened to be a man? I don't know, as I've said I do understand jealousy and I feel sorry for people who can't handle that but how low can you sink when you start slapping someone. That is a warning sign for me. I also wouldn't call him abusive but it would set off my alarm. I believe he also got quite mad and loud when he disagreed with a director because he refused to speak English (I do understand his frustration, would have felt the same way) but didn't he flip a bit then, too. If you take all that, I think at times, not necessarily all the time, Gary couldn't keep his emotions under control. It's the sum of it all...I think it's sad that Gary obviously felt so insecure about Patricia Neal and her love for him that he had to slap her because he was jealous. If a guy I love slapped me I don't know what I would do but it would not please me one bit. How would you feel?
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Post by Coopsgirl on Jul 11, 2011 13:51:48 GMT -6
It is normal human behavior to get into arguments with people so I certainly wouldn't hold that against Gary unless he was the type of person who was constantly argumentative and combative which he wasn't.
Gary saw Kirk Douglas kissing Pat after he took her home from a date as she was pretending to date him while she was having an affair with Gary. When Gary confronted her about it she teased him and egged him on about how jealous he was and then he slapped her. I'm not saying she had it coming or deserved it but I think it's important to understand the context of the incident. He didn't just slap her out of the blue because another man kissed her. It seems that emotions were running high because of the circumstances surrounding their affair and it all came to a head that night. After it happened Pat told him that she was not going to stand for that and no one would treat her that way. He was profusely sorry and never wanted to talk about it again.
If a man slapped me for no reason while we were dating I would definitely dump him immediately. If however there were some kind of mitigating circumstances and he had did not have a violent history I may give him another chance but if I suspected he was indeed a violent person or if any other incidents like that happened again I'd kick him to the curb fast.
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Post by maggiejones on Jul 12, 2011 4:39:55 GMT -6
Quote-: from ItsADogsLife "I think the only person who can have a real opinion about a man like Gary Cooper are friends, relations, family and people who used to know him."
That's exactly how I would sum up this question.
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Post by marnanjesse on Jul 12, 2011 18:20:00 GMT -6
What I loved most about him is of course, his genuine talent as an actor. I like others too, such as Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, etc., but Gary stands alone from even them, in my eyes as a "true natural". I can watch his movies over and over, never tiring of them as I always see something new about him in his character roles. His cheating ways were a big contradiction of the man he portrayed, however, I did not know him so I will not judge as I don't know all the circumstances and I sure have not been a perfect person in my life either. Aside from that, I think he probably was a good man with a sense of humor, a kind heart, and a hard worker on the set to bring us the best performances he could. I, too, would have loved to have known him and would have been his friend. I wish time travel were possible because I have always felt I was born in the wrong era and think that I surely would have liked to been alive when GC was alive.
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Post by junechild on Sept 1, 2012 18:16:24 GMT -6
Great site here...I've long been a Gary Cooper fan. Just a question since you are pretty knowledgeable. Who was the love of Gary Cooper's life?
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Post by Coopsgirl on Sept 1, 2012 18:52:24 GMT -6
Hi junechild, welcome to the site! I do believe Gary loved his wife more than any other woman. For him the affairs just seemed to be physical relationships and I have one article here where he said he didn't like routines. I think the occasional fling on the side was just a way of breaking up "marital monotony" for lack of a better term. Of course then he began an affair with Patricia Neal and I do believe he loved her too but not as much as Rocky. He and Pat broke it off in December of '51 and he didn't fully go back to Rocky until '53 or '54. I think he took a long time, or a long walk as he would say, to figure out where he belonged. He still spent a lot of time with Rocky from '52-'54 going to parties together and they always spent the holidays together as a family. I think taking that time to figure things out made him realize how much he loved her and what a good wife she had been. He still had affairs after they got back together (e.g. Audrey Hepburn) but after he became a Catholic he finally kicked that habit for good. Rocky said those last few years of their marriage were the happiest of her life and I believe he was truly remorseful for the cheating.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2012 14:30:18 GMT -6
I actually have a different viewpoint from you coopsgirl but I do agree with you as far as his 'flings' are concerned that they were purely physical and that there were no deep emotions involved. There are different types of love and yes, Gary did love Rocky and had a deep respect and regard for her but whilst saying that I believe he fell IN love for the first time and only time with Patricia Neal. there is a difference between to love someone and then to be IN love with one. Also, at the end of the day Rocky was the mother of his only child and I do believe that it is due to this essential factor that he eventually decided to be with Rocky. It was Maria who bound them together and that is why the relationship endured whereas the one with Patricia Neal was not able to sustain. Rocky was his best friend, his pillar and not to sound cliche - his better half but Patricia Neal was the love of his life.
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Post by junechild on Sept 3, 2012 11:24:01 GMT -6
Thank you both for answering me...and thanks for welcoming me to the site. Another question if you don't mind. Michelle Vogel's biography of Lupe Velez revealed that Gary was the love of her life. How did Gary really feel about Lupe?
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Post by Coopsgirl on Sept 3, 2012 15:30:38 GMT -6
Gary and Lupe were together for about three years and they said they loved each other but I'm not sure how serious their love was. I think they definitely cared about each other but it doesn't seem like that was a relationship that was really going anywhere. I think they both had fun but it probably wasn't a whole lot more than that.
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marita
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Post by marita on Mar 31, 2013 16:19:06 GMT -6
No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, and with having said that, Gary Cooper was after all a human being, and with his status in Hollywood, (at the time), it seems no different today, we are always hearing about some celeb or another having a affair, they seem to bounce around like a vollyball. What about the women he was having an affair, or fling with? Are they not just as guilty being with a married man? As the old saying goes, "it takes two to Tango". I'm sure in his quiet thoughts he might have had a few regrets. I find it quite funny when he was really young, that he was afraid of girls/women. I know if I had been around at that time, I would have had to fight off any temptation, if I had worked with him All in all, he was a wonderful actor, and he gave us some great movies.
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